This is the first post of a new series ‘How I Met My Friend’. I want to write this series so when I become forgetful one day I could still remember how great my young life were to have such friends around me.

I do not try to prove anything or aim to gain anything from this series. I just want to share a bit with people. I’m not trying to teach how to be a friend. Myself is not the best friend either but I have few great friendships to share. This is purely just a reflection for me and hopefully will benefit most. So, wait no longer, here we go!

The first friend I choose is the newly married TVT. Why did I choose her? Because she was the last one who was very close to me.

TVT.

I met her around 7 years ago. It was around end of 2003. I was helping my ex-gf with her school assignments in her house. Then someone popped up on my ex’s MSN Messenger. I was curious about the nickname, so I answered it but my ex did not know it. We introduced ourselves each other that day. I added her on my MSN Messenger, but we did not really get going after that. It was almost a year after I saw this weird nickname on my MSN list. So, I asked her and we again introduced each other for the second time. At that time, TVT has already had a boy-friend and I was still with my ex. No one knew that I and TVT knew each other. We didn’t purposely hide it from anyone. We just didn’t care about making to publicize the friendship as there is no point of doing it as it never came across my mind anyway.

From that moment, we started to share some stories. I started to tell her about my relationships and she shared with me hers. We helped each other to be stronger in our own relationships. We were just MSN friends, if I could say it that way. I didn’t really have many friends at that time and I was already sent abroad to study, so I thought she could be a good friend for me to share my difficulties. In fact, most of the time I only shared the good stuffs with her and kept all the suffers I had to myself. On the other hand, she kept complaining how hard she had to do long distance relationship. She stated to me, not once or twice, but many times that her boy-friend at that time are the one and only she loved. I still have some good memories of her stories. I remember how she cried when she missed her boy. What did I do? I just supported her. I never knew who the boy was. I always said, “If you felt that he is the one, don’t be afraid to stay stronger from day to day.”

Beside all the love stories, we also shared our personal stories. It might be a bit easier for us as we were in the same major, Medicine. That might have helped us a lot in our friendships. Well, to be honest, I’m not good in making friends. If someone could connect well with me there must be something good between us. Based on that ground, I and her became good friends although we still stayed as MSN friends. I never had her phone number and vice versa. The only contact I have is her MSN Messenger.

Funny enough, we had that friendship for about 2 years but we never actually met. It probably because I spent more than half  a year overseas. Unfortunately, I didn’t settle in that country. I moved to where I am now to pursue my further studies. In the early months of my journey in Ireland, we were still in contact although it was much less than before because of the time difference. Our friendship just stayed the way it was. We enjoyed it pretty much like that.

However, things turned the opposite way in early 2007. I broke up with my ex. It was a difficult decision for me, a truly difficult one. I don’t remember if I told her about it. I didn’t want to tell anyone at that moment especially those who are friends of my ex. I thought no one believed me if I said about my break-up and it would even frustrate me further. So, I decided to keep quite for sometimes. I only told my sisters and one of my best friends about that moment. I clenched my teeth too hard. I didn’t speak much anymore. I seldom appear on MSN Messenger. I had no friends at all while getting through the break-up. People started to talk bad about me. Those few months depressed me quite much. It took me almost 6 months to come back to my life because I met this one girl whom I love so much. She is not TVT, but this girl re-enlightened my life.

Since then, I tried to make more friends. I learnt things slowly. I reconstructed my life. There was too much damage after the break-up I made upon myself. Luckily, things improved much better as time went by. I slowly met up with friends one by one. I tried to contact my old friends again. Facebook really played such an important roles in helping me with this. Slowly but surely, I met more and more old friends from my school years. TVT was one of the friends I met again on facebook in early 2010 after many years but we didn’t talk much anymore. I believed the 3 years gap in between has destroyed our MSNship.

Anyway, one day I was on facebook and read the status of TVT. She announced her engagement. I shocked! Totally shocked! So, I tried to reach her again. We started to talk again, but she didn’t use that weird MSN nickname anymore. We were good friends back then and we had what you would expect when 2 close friends meet again after many years. We talked much. We shared even more stories. I told her about my break-up and she told me about her engagement with the same boy. Did I envy her? No. Was I jealous? NO! I supported her fully. I felt so happy. She was the first close friend I have who was getting married.

The friendship developed into some kind of care. We care each other. Our friendship grew stronger from day to day. We shared more stories about our life but it was still limited through Facebook and Yahoo! Messenger. (Yes, she switched to YM). Nothing was really special between us. It was only me treating her like my own sister. Was it wrong? I don’t know but I don’t see anything wrong about that. I treated her the same like I treated other best friends.

It stayed great and unnoticed until last summer when we finally decided to meet for the first time. I wanted to see her before her marriage because I didn’t want to be called as the third party. So, I insisted to meet her last summer. It was really funny when we made the arrangement. We knew each other as much as we don’t know anything about each other. It turned out that we had the same person as our best friend. So, to make things easier, the three of us met in Nanny’s Pavilion, City Walk, Jakarta. After 7 years of friendship, I finally met one of my best friend. However, that means public finally knew about our friendship, but we didn’t really care about it. We never thought of hiding it so why bother when public knew it.

After I met her that day, I bought myself the blackberry. That gadget is the one improved this friendship into a higher stage. We shared more and more, especially after she figured out who the girl I fall in love with. She tried to help me to be ‘a man’. Again, the similar reason we had in the first place we used. Each of us probably needed a place or someone to share with. Someone other than family member, fiancé, or colleagues. Someone who is willing to listen. Someone who cares about us. Someone who loves us. A love which differs from family, fiancé or colleagues. A love from a true friend.

This love grew stronger as we get more closer. I tried to always be there for her. I offered her the best friendship I could give. It is the same friendship like other friends. It looked more obvious and intense from the surface while it is actually not. I would say it is probably public was shocked by my sudden appearance in her life because no one knew I have been there for 7 years. Also, I would say it is because she cares me more than any other friends I have. She tried to know me better and she did know me better than others. Some of my friends said I and her were too close. I have to disagree. We were close because we care each other and that is how a friendship should be. With other best friends, I would have to say that I care of them more than the other way around. Therefore it doesn’t seem we are that close. IF those friends tried to know me better or tried to care of me more, they certainly at the same stage like TVT. TVT was the only friend I have who asked me questions like, “How are you lately?” or “I see you having some problems. What’s happened? Tell me!” Is that wrong? I don’t think so. On the other hand, I would always be there for my friend. I always say to everyone that I’m ready 24/7 to help someone who really needs help. So, it is nothing new really. My best friends should know that whenever they sent me a sms or an e-mail or FB message or write on my wall requesting a help, I would always answer in the fastest possible time. Who could argue with that I never do it? No one. I am a person who very rarely say NO when someone request for my help. I have always tried the best possible way to help anyone. Probably, this kind of friend that TVT needed, so it was a match, but between us it was all about friendship including the love, no matter how intense we were. I can assure you that.

Anyway, back to the story.

Then as the time passed by, I love her more and more. She became part of my life. She has helped me improved myself on how to approach the girl I love. She told me things I should learn and should not learn. The best thing she taught me is about confidence and I will always remember that. On the other side, I didn’t offer her much. I just supported her in everything she needs. I just told her whatever I think she needed. I told her from time to time about her wedding. It was me who was more anxious about the wedding. I wanted her to prepare the best. I wanted her to make the best decision. I never even once told her to forget her man or try to break up their relationship. Whoever thought I tried to do it must be the foolest human being in the world. I may talk rubbish a lot but I still have a heart and a brain.

Towards her wedding, our friendship became even more noticeable by her man. Somehow her man dislikes me while he never actually knows who I really am. It was a nightmare that I would never want to think about again. I forgive it and leave it behind. Now, I don’t really know what is going on with TVT. It has been quite a while since the incident and her wedding came after. So, I really don’t know her news. I just hope the best for her and I want her to know that I am always here whenever she needs me. I hope I would be able to see her again one day. I wish.

 

THE END

 

People must be curious why I had a lot of posts about TVT lately. Some people even asked me if she was the one that I actually fall in love with which sometimes really annoyed me. Well, let’s get this straight and easy.

Do I love TVT?

YES.

Have I ever fallen in love with TVT?

NO.

So, what’s up with ‘I love TVT’?

Well, I love my dad, I love my mom, I love my sisters, I love my other friends, I love Black (my dog), I love my late grand mother, I love my late grand fathers, I love my patients, I love INTER MILAN, I love football, I love writing blogs, I love TVT. They ain’t any difference. Love is about passion. Love is about care. Love is about kindness. It does not mean that I want to have everyone or everything I love. As I said in the story above, I love her as my friend. I treat her as my own sister. Sometimes you really need to understand in what context ‘love’ is used. Indonesian language has many different definition of love, e.g sayang, suka, cinta, mengasihi, menikmati, etc. All of them are defined into 1 word in English, LOVE.

It is true that sometimes we use the word Love to express our feeling to someone we fall in love with. However, the context would be different. The sentence would sound different. So, it really depends how smart you are to interpret what the definition in certain context. Therefore everyone please remain calm and follow the rule: READ >> UNDERSTAND >> COMMENT

I hope this clear things and rumours.

But, why so many posts about TVT lately?

Because she is the hot topic in my life lately. If number of posts is used as the measure about the girl I fall in love with, certainly TVT is not the one. She has just have like 6-7 posts. There is one girl to whom I dedicated 35 posts until today.

Are you sure it is not TVT?

I swear to God it is not her.

 

Love is just a word but it is more than just a love.

 

Friendship is wonderful if you just enjoy and avoid any politics involve

Buona notte.

With Love,

eldios©

PS: I am sorry for any grammatical errors. I believe I made lots of mistakes there. I’m too lazy and tired to double check it because I’m very sleepy now. I even fell asleep halfway of the story. I hope you pardon my mistakes and enjoyed the truth behind this friendship.

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