Whisper On Cliffs

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Standing up high to reach the sky
Beyond the sea on the horizon I stare
The sun sets calling it a day
Wind blows
Waves shout
At the tip of the highest cliff
I stay strong on my feet

Deep breaths
Filling up my lungs left and right
Let the nature sings
Down to earth
Unite with nature
In you I love

I close my eyes
And I whisper…
“I love you, 为, I really do!”

If only I could shout it out..
Would you smile one more time?
Would you love me too?

Dingli, 19 August 2014
edwongso

In love,
eldios

Love in Fried Rice

6.30am. Ater 3 hours sleep. Tired and stiff back from sleeping on floor.

It did not stop me from standing up and do something I have never done before i.e wake up 1 hour before usual time to just cook for a breakfast and the breakfast is not even for me.

She is still sleeping. I watched her sleeping this morning. She is so cute. Shè is really comfortable under that duvet sleep thru her dreams. There is nothing could be a better morning welcome to eyes than seeing her sleep so well.

I went on to the kitchen and start to chopping some sausages and spring onion. First time ever in my 28 years life and 10 of them are abroad and alone, I make a breakfast!

It takes a lot of efforts, mostly to drive myself awake from my sleep and start my day earlier. But, if it was done with love then all will be felt is just happiness.

They say you can do crazy things if you are in love. I suppose I really do love her. It might not be the best breakfast for her, but if you could just feel a little bit of love in every bites of it, I would be happy. At least, she should feel like the luckiest girl on earth right now. In the end, it is just a little crazy things in life we called love. A love in fried rice.

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Love in Fried Rice

Enjoy, Wei.
I hope it does not disappoint much :)

Felling so much in love.

With Love,
eldios

When Malta Went Blackout

It’s just another boring day for me. I started to rise up after a couple of snoozes. My legs were killing me as they always do every morning. The only good thing about this morning was the left over happiness from last night when somehow she all of sudden shared her life stories with me. I could not be more thankful that she finally did it after she always hides behind the curtain of her laughs and smiles for every and each stories I want to know. Yes, she is keeping herself away from me. I know it and I am trying so hard to knock down this wall. We could say that she would never love me back but it’s still uncertain how strong the wall will stand and I am not giving up, not for now.

As we did not meet yesterday, I really missed her so much. I tried to ask her out but the normal dine out would be very boring for her. I asked her to accompany me shopping instead. LOL! Somehow she agreed to it. We went out around 4 pm. We strolled the street from a Asian Store to a fisheries to a supermarket. I bought from instant noodles to ice creams.

I don’t know if she enjoyed it or not but she definitely looked exhausted for walking under the sun. I felt really sorry for that. However, the last few days, she has not looked so happy especially after Sunday. I tried to take a candid picture of her but I failed. LOL. She found it out and I’m not sure why she still resists to give me a picture of her. Perhaps, I’m not worth it yet. But, it’s okay. We’ll do it step by step. Her heart is like a fortress with multiple gates.

As it has always been, I’m just a second man in her book. The other guy will always have the priority, so today we started late as usual and then we ended up finishing my shopping at 8 pm. We arrived at my place just to find out Malta went black out. So, we went out for dinner. Everybody in Malta rushed out for dinner and we ended up having dinner only at 9.30 pm and finished almost 11 pm. I had a bad feeling that her place was still out of electricity. So, I decided to take her home and my feelings have been right lately. I forced her to stay overnight at  my place. I felt really bad to force her, but seriously, how can you let someone you love sleep in the hot temperature, dark, and no electricity after 1 day out in the sun, full of sweats and sticky dusts. Hell no. I’m not letting someone I love to suffer that when I could sleep in the air-conditioned room. I got a bit angry when she pushed me out, but somehow she decided to come.

I’m so happy that she is willing to sleepover. At least, I could have a night to take care of her. However, the other guy got angry and she became so sad.  I would never know what they say, but she was better after she took a shower.

It’s hard to love someone when there is another one, but to see her back on her smile definitely completed my day. I’m happy to witness her 28th smiles today. That’s how you love unconditionally I suppose.

Goodnight, Wei.

 

Keep smiling.

With Love,

eldios©

Unconditional Love

I learn how to love you

Loving you unconditionally

Although you’re the most difficult for me

But I never doubt it

 

We are now getting apart

Even more impossible to be together

I give you all within me

All unconditionally

 

I wish I would always stay in your heart

I am a man who couldn’t easily replace you

Though I fear of your weaknesses

I won’t run away because my love is perfect

 

We are now getting apart

Even more impossible to be together

I give you all within me

All unconditionally

 

I wish I would always stay in your heart

I am a man who couldn’t easily replace you

Though my self fear of your weaknesses

I won’t run away

I won’t run away because my love is perfect

 

CINTA TANPA SYARAT – Afgan

 

Aku belajar mencintaimu

Mencintai tanpa syarat apapun

Meski kau yang tersulit untukku

Tapi aku tak ragu

 

Kini kita sudah semakin jauh

Bahkan sulit untuk kembali

Kuberi semua yang ada padaku

Tanpa syarat apapun

 

Aku ingin terus ada di hatimu

Aku lelaki yang tak bisa mudah menggantimu

Meski aku takut akan kelemahanmu

Ku takkan lari karena cinta ku sempurna

 

Kini kita sudah semakin jauh

Bahkan sulit untuk kembali

Kuberi semua yang ada padaku

Tanpa syarat apapun

 

Aku ingin terus ada di hatimu

Aku lelaki yang mudah menggantimu

Meskipun diriku takut akan kelemahanmu

Ku takkan lari

Ku takkan lari karena cinta ku sempurna

 

It is hard to get through this period again when I love someone who does not love me back. People would easily say that there are many other girls out there but love is not just simply pick any girls you like. People could say that it is her loss that she could not feel the same but it is still me who feels the pain of heart broken into pieces. It is not easy at all to love someone just to let her go. I suppose we all can say that love doesn’t own, that love is simply to see someone we love happy. To love someone truthfully is a huge task itself but to love someone unconditionally is even a bigger task. I can’t just ignore this feeling that I really wish her to feel the same. I really hope I would have a chance. What could I do when it is not in my power to even express it anymore. I can’t force her to love me. I can’t force her to open her heart to me. All I can do is just waiting. 1 year, 2 years, 3 or 5 years.. God knows how long I could wait this time. I have given everything, all my love for her. I wish I would stay in her heart one day. I just don’t want to love somebody else for now. She is perfect for me. She completes my puzzles. She fills me. She enlightens me. But, am I as important for her? I don’t know. I’m afraid I would lose her 1 day. The date is getting closer. Although I have decided my faith. I would stay and wait. I would never run away. I will learn how to love unconditionally. It might be difficult but wouldn’t you do the most unbelievable thing just for your love? I would and I am doing it.

For the sake of love.

For WT.

From the man who loves you more than anything.

From the man who can’t replace you with anyone.

With Love,

eldios©

One Last Love Letter

There comes the star I have waited
A little twinkle shines in the darkness of life
Never I imagined you finally come and draw my smiles
When days and nights turn into dreams come true
Endless happiness in love all I could wish for once
I could not believe I would learn how to love again
Through the hardship and all courage to make you happy
If I may shout it loud, “I love you! I really do with my whole life!”
Now I could only wish for a chance to stand by your side
Growing old and be happy with you every each and other seconds

Malta, 31 July 2014
– Edwongso©-

For WT.

With Last Love,
eldios©

18 Struggles Of Having An Outgoing Personality But Actually Being Shy And Introverted

Originally posted on Thought Catalog:

This… this is my soul song, people. This is my Vietnam.

1. You’re not anti-social, you’re selectively social.

2. At any given point, you have one (maybe two) best friends who are your entire life. You’re not a “group of friends” person. You can’t keep up with all that.

3. Social gatherings that are supposed to be “rites of passage” like prom and dances and other such typical nonsense is just… not for you. You don’t understand it. You want nothing to do with it.

4. When you do choose to grace a party with your presence, you are the life of it. You’re dancing on the table and doing body shots until 3 a.m.

5. … You then retreat into three days of complete solitude to recover.

6. You go out of your way to avoid people, but when you inevitably have to interact with them, you make…

View original 392 more words

I Don’t Wanna Love Somebody Else

Oh, I built a world around you
Oh, you had me in a dream,
I lived in every word you said
The stars had aligned
I thought that I found you
And I don’t wanna love somebody else

Oh, we left it all unspoken
Oh, we buried it alive
And now it’s screaming in my head
Oh, I shouldn’t go on hoping
Oh, that you will change your mind
And one day we could start again
Well I don’t care if loneliness kills me
I don’t wanna love somebody else

Oh, I thought that I could change you
Oh, I thought that we would be the greatest story that I tell
I know that it’s time to tell you it’s over
But I don’t wanna love somebody else

- A Great Big World© -

I really don’t know what to do. I love her. I really do. I want to be happy and make her happy. But, she keeps refusing. She keeps asking me to leave. So many reasons she had to deny that I truly love her. Do I really not deserve a chance to love? She mentions it over and over again that she wants me to stop loving her. I always tell her I can’t. Somehow, it makes her upset.

I don’t know what is wrong. Did I just fall in love with a wrong girl again? Why can’t I love her for the sake I am in love?

I am sad. Really sad. Because I never know why she really wants me to stop loving her. What is the reason I can’t love someone? Why does she always insist she would never love me and never want to? Why, oh why?

I was destroyed for years that I was afraid to try to open my heart again. Once I open the door, she comes in and stays. I thought I could something new, but it does not seem to be. I thought this could finally be a happy chapter in this life or this blog at least.

I wish she would change her mind. I wish I could hear her say ‘I love you too’. I wish we could spend some time loving each other even for an hour. So much of wishes I could pray for, but none of them will happen. It is the same old story. I am loving someone to heal the wound that will happen, so when it happens it won’t hurt that much. But she wants the wound from now because she believes so much that I would get back into those depressions.

Time is running out. She is leaving soon and will probably be with the other guy. She would never pick me over him and I knew it from the beginning, but I made a mistake not to confess my feelings before. That’s why I told her everything. I want her to know from the beginning, everything. But, it seems that my love hurts her.

I really do not know what to do. I’m so lost. I am not afraid who she will pick one day. I just want a chance to love her. I don’t care how it would end one day. I just want to love again, and be loved if possible.

It’s probably over now for me but I don’t wanna love somebody else.

I will probably just do the same old story. To keep loving someone inside me. To live in loneliness.

I wish she could feel the same.

The heart ready to be broken.

For WT.

With Love,

eldios©

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