every pulse I beat in my heart
We get busy, we get fast, we think about tomorrow, we think about yesterday, we think about everything but sometimes we forget about this moment right here and so we gotta remember to love each other cause nothing else even matters. -Alicia Keys.
That’s how Alicia closed her speech when she remembered Whitney Houston.
Spread the love.
With Love,
eldios©
This is supposedly be my final yearbook in life. I have asked some closest people who may not know everything about me but they have been around me for years and decades, they have seen enough of me throughout times to be able say few words about who I really am.
“As his elder sister, I must say Edvyn is very mature and wise. Edvyn, my only brother, has many talents that women look for. Too much to say about Edvyn in such limited words. What I can conclude about Edvyn is that I am proud to be his sister.”
-CW, 26 years as elder sister-
“Edvyn can sometimes be very stubborn and annoying. However, he’s my chubby, lovely and caring brother who will always protect his family. He’s the person whom we can rely on since mature is his nature.”
-MW, 24 years as younger sister-
“Complicated yet simple, roaring yet romantic, stubborn yet soft and caring. Edvyn is my close friend for twelve years. His strong willed learning and loving will get him anywhere he wants to be in life. I’m so proud of him! I wish that he’ll accomplish all of his goals in life and still share his goodness with others.”
-AGL, 12 years as one of my closest friend-
“Edvyn is one of the toughest men I’ve ever met. He’s been through many horrible times but he always stood up again. He’s very generous, caring, loyal and patient although little bit stubborn. Although we are apart, I know he will always stand beside me every time I need him. I believe that someday he will be a very great doctor because I know that he always works with his heart.”
-WP, 10 years of a great friendship-
“My first impression of Edvyn was that he’s cocky and stubborn. He’s so naive about love. He doesn’t know how to ask a girl on a date. However, once you know him better, it’s easy to love him. He never lets his friends down although he’s so far away. He’s a very nice, super-kind, amazingly-caring, and someone-you-can-rely-on kind of guy. He’s my best friend.”
-VT, 7 years of a great friendship-
“Edvyn (origin: Eadwine) is one of the most loyal friends I’ve ever had. He’s a compassionate, generous, kind person who doesn’t hold back on time and money for those close to him, and is definitely an inspiration for me to be a better person every day. I’d like to thank him for being my close friend through thick and thin. We made it, Ed!”
-AKI, 6 years as partner in crime in medical school, easily the closest male friend-
“My name is Edvyn Andy Wongso, a man born to serve the world and be a legend.”
Happy Valentine’s
With Love,
eldios©
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February 14, 2012
eldios
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Memang baik menjadi orang penting, tetapi jauh lebih penting menjadi orang baik. – Ebet Kadarusman (1936-2010)
It is good to be an important person, but it is far more important to be a good person. – Ebet Kadarusman (1936-2010)
Be good. Be important.
With Love,
eldios©
Inside all negative thoughts there are always some positives in the core. Mind is like an atom, it is made of protons, electrons and neutrons. Reducing electrons (if it’s too much) and keeping protons will yield in a neutral balance where happiness will be found.
Happiness is not about too much positives or zero negatives. Happiness is about a balance between positive and negative, between proton and electron, between hot and cold, between yin and yang, between you and me.
Be Happy 
Carlow, Jan 29th 2012.
With Love,
eldios©
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SIANG SEBERANG ISTANA – IWAN FALS
Seorang anak kecil bertubuh dekil
Tertidur berbantal sebelah lengan
Berselimut debu jalanan
Rindang pohon jalan menunggu rela
Kawan setia sehabis bekerja
Siang di seberang sebuah istana
Siang di seberang istana Sang Raja
Kotak semir mungil dan sangat dekil
Benteng rapuh dari lapar memanggil
Gardu dan mata para penjaga
Saksi nyata yang sudah terbiasa
Tamu negara tampak terpesona
Mengelus dada gelengkan kepala
Saksikan perbedaan yang ada
Sombong melangkah istana yang megah
Seakan meludah di atas tubuh yang resah
Ribuan jerit di depan hidungmu
Namun yang ku tahu
Tak terasa menggangu
Kotak semir mungil dan sangat dekil
Benteng rapuh dari lapar memanggil
Gardu dan mata para penjaga
Saksi nyata yang sudah terbiasa
Sombong melangkah istana yang megah
Seakan meludah di atas tubuh yang resah
Ribuan jerit di depan hidungmu
Namun yang ku tahu
Tak terasa mengganggu
Kotak semir mungil dan sangat dekil
Benteng rapuh dari lapar memanggil
Gardu dan mata para penjaga
Saksi nyata yang sudah terbiasa
Sombong melangkah istana yang megah
Seakan meludah di atas tubuh yang resah
Ribuan jerit di depan matamu
Namun yang ku tahu
Tak terasa mengganggu
Gema adzan ashar sentuh telinga
Buyarkan mimpi si kecil siang tadi
Dia berdiri malas melangkahkan kaki
Diraihnya mimpi digenggam tak dilepaskan lagi
IWAN FALS©
With Love,
eldios©
IMPAZZISCO PER TE (Nerazzurri Ale Ale) – DJ MATRIX
L’ho capito sin da piccolo che ti amavo
che ti avrei protetta sempre in gioia e difficoltà.
quando parte il capitano
si alza l’ urlo dello stadio
tu regina di milano
io son pazzo di te
Ora ci sei solo tu
niente mai verrà di più
di vederti vincere
anche l’ impossibile.
Grazie per i brividi
quella notte magica
io ti giuro che sarò sempre con te
Impazzisco per te
nerazzurri alè alè
Impazzisco per te
nerazzurri alè alè
Impazzisco per te
quando segna il principe
Impazzisco per te
nerazzurri alè alè
Puoi soltanto sfotterci
non abbiamo limiti
fate mille calcoli
siamo irraggiungibili
sai cos’è la dignità
di chi è stato sempre in A
di chi ha vinto e vincera
e mai non ruberà
Impazzisco per te
nerazzurri alè alè
Impazzisco per te
nerazzurri alè alè
Impazzisco per te
quando segna il principe
Impazzisco per te
nerazzurri alè alè
Impazzisco per te
nerazzurri alè alè
Impazzisco per te
nerazzurri alè alè
Impazzisco per te
quando segna il principe
Impazzisco per te
nerazzurri alè alè
Translation:
I knew since childhood that I loved you
I’d always protected in joy and difficulty.
When the captain runs
Raises the stadium’s shout
You queen of Milano
I am crazy about you
Now there is only you
Nothing ever will be better
Than to see you win
Even the ‘impossible.
Thanks for the thrills
that magical night
I swear I’ll always be with you
Crazy For You
Nerazzurri ale ale
Crazy For You
Nerazzurri ale ale
Crazy For You
When the prince scores
Crazy For You
Nerazzurri ale ale
You can only tease
We have no limit
Do thousands of calculations
We are unreachable
You know what dignity is
Of those who were always in A
Those who won and will win
And will never steal
Crazy For You
Nerazzurri ale ale
Crazy For You
Nerazzurri ale ale
Crazy For You
When the prince scores
Crazy For You
Nerazzurri ale ale
Crazy For You
Nerazzurri ale ale
Crazy For You
Nerazzurri ale ale
Crazy For You
When the prince scores
Crazy For You
Nerazzurri ale ale
IMPAZZISCO PER INTER! INTER PER SEMPRE!
Ti Amo, Inter!
With Love,
eldios©
January 16, 2012
eldios
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C’è Solo L’Inter – Graziano Romani
E’ vero, ci sono cose piu’ importanti
di calciatori e di cantanti
ma dimmi cosa c’è di meglio
di una continua sofferenza
per arrivare alla vittoria
ma poi non rompermi i coglioni
per me c’è solo l’Inter
A me che sono innamorato
non venite a raccontare
quello che l’Inter deve fare
perchè per noi niente è mai normale
nè sconfitta nè vittoria
che tanto è sempre la stessa storia
un’ora e mezza senza fiato
perchè c’è solo l’Inter
C’è solo l’Inter, per me, solo l’Inter
C’è solo l’Inter, per me
No, non puoi cambiare la bandiera
e la maglia nerazzurra
dei campioni del passato
che poi è la stessa
di quelli del presente
io da loro voglio orgoglio
per la squadra di Milano
perchè c’è solo l’Inter
E mi torna ancora in mente l’avvocato Prisco
lui diceva che la serie A è nel nostro dna
io non rubo il campionato
ed in serie B non son mai stato
C’è solo l’Inter, per me, solo l’Inter
C’è solo l’Inter, per me
C’è solo l’Inter, per me, solo l’Inter
C’è solo l’Inter, per me, per me
C’è solo l’Inter, per me
Translation:
It’s true, there are more important things
Than players and singers
But tell me what could be better
Than a continuous suffering
To get to victory
But don’t break my balls
PER ME C’E SOLO L’INTER!
For me that I’m in love
Don’t come and tell me
What Inter has to do
Because for us nothing is ever normal
Neither victory nor defeat
And it’s always the same story
An hour and a half out of breath
PERCHE C’E SOLO L’INTER
It’s only Inter
For me, it’s only Inter,
There is only Inter
For me…
No, you can’t change the flag
And the nerazzurri shirt
Of the champions of the past
Which is still the same
To those in the present
I want them to be proud
For the team of Milano
PERCHE C’E SOLO L’INTER
And my mind turns to Avvocato Prisco
He said that Serie A is in our DNA
I don’t steal the championship
And I’ve never been to Serie B!
Non Mollare Mai! C’e SOLO L’INTER! Inter per sempre!
Ti Amo, Inter!
With Love,
eldios©
January 16, 2012
eldios
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“Friends are like shoes. You need them wherever you go.”
Today I wear again my old shoes I bought 9 years ago. They have finally come back from retirement after I repaired them last week. These shoes are legendary. They accompanied me anywhere around the world for 7 years before they were finally worn out and I decided not to repair but go for a new pair. Today is our reunion day and I realize that they are two of the best friends I have ever had.
Friends are like shoes. You need them wherever you go. Some people believe the more shoes they have the better they do. Similarly, the more friends you have, the better you’ll do. Some others think quantity is not important but quality shoes are really top in the list. The same thing happens in friendship, some people believe having quality friends in small number is better than having hundreds or thousands facebook friends list that you don’t even know who they are.
People will feel limitless comfortable with their best friends, just like when you don’t feel tired walking with your best shoes. Best friends will always be there for you, like your shoes will always be with you wherever you wanna go. Good friends never complain how tired they listen to your repeated stories, good shoes never get tired even if you walk the same path back and forward every day. Great shoes don’t get worn out easily, great friends never leave you alone.
When people don’t like their shoes or giving them pain, they may throw away those shoes. Friends who are not worth to be with or hurt you most times, they are friends who are not worth your times. However if they love their shoes much, they can just ignore the pain and keep walking through the pain. It is also sometimes worth to keep a friendship although it hurts you along the way. Unfortunately, no matter how good your shoes are, they will be worn out and eventually you will need a new pair. Just like friendship, there is one time that every friendship is gonna end for whatever reason and each of you is gonna move on with new companion in life. However, the best friendship can only be ended by death.
Lastly, the sad part is that most people can remember where and when they bought their shoes and how much the cost is roughly. Unfortunately, most people do not remember where and when they first time met their friends, they can even forget who their friends are. People tend to forget how precious a friendship is and it is as expensive as a diamond and is definitely more expensive than any pairs of shoes in the world. That is the reason why friendship is so cheap in this world, it is sometimes even cheaper than a pair of shoes.
“Love your shoes, love your friends”
Friends Forever.
With Love,
eldios.©
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When I look into your eyes
It’s like watching the night sky
Or a beautiful sunrise
There’s so much they hold
And just like them old stars
I see that you’ve come so far
To be right where you are
How old is your soul?
I won’t give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I’m giving you all my love
I’m still looking up
And when you’re needing your space
To do some navigating
I’ll be here patiently waiting
To see what you find
Cause even the stars they burn
Some even fall to the earth
We’ve got a lot to learn
God knows we’re worth it
No, I won’t give up
I don’t wanna be someone who walks away so easily
I’m here to stay and make the difference that I can make
Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use
The tools and gifts we got yeah, we got a lot at stake
And in the end, you’re still my friend at least we did intend
For us to work we didn’t break, we didn’t burn
We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in
I had to learn what I’ve got, and what I’m not
And who I am
I won’t give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I’m giving you all my love
I’m still looking up
Still looking up.
I won’t give up on us (no I’m not giving up)
God knows I’m tough enough (I am tough, I am loved)
We’ve got a lot to learn (we’re alive, we are loved)
God knows we’re worth it (and we’re worth it)
I won’t give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I’m giving you all my love
I’m still looking up
- Jason Mraz. Jan 2012 © -
This is 100% what I wanna tell the girl I love the most, W.
I won’t give up. Not now.
With Love,
eldios©
You must be imaginative, strong-hearted. You must try things that may not work, and you must not let anyone define your limits because of where you come from. Your only limit is your soul. What I say is true, anyone can cook. But, only the fearless can be great. – Gusteau. Ratatouille 2006. -
Limitless.
With Love,
eldios©
Apa yang kita ingat dari kenangan-kenangan yang terekam oleh kita?
Nama tempat, nama permainan, nama teman, atau kejadian
Adalah hal-hal yang lambat laun mungkin bisa terlupa
Tapi tidak dengan rasa
Rasa senang, rasa sedih yang akan terus kita bawa
Tanpa mudah tercecer di sepanjang perjalanan kita
Dan semakin kita dewasa, kita akan semakin menyadari
Bahwa di antara kenangan-kenangan tersebut
Ada satu rasa yang paling besar yaitu CINTA
Karena ketika satu per satu cerita berhenti dan menjadi kenangan
Cinta terus bergerak seiring harapan yang menyertai dia
Cinta yang tak terlihat oleh mata, tak teraba oleh tangan
Tapi dia ada
Bahkan sejak kita belum bisa mengucapkannya
Cinta yang sejati, cinta yang kita kira sudah pergi
Ternyata cuma bersembunyi
Menunggu untuk kembali lagi…
From Adinda in Love
Merci.
With Love,
eldios©
I am not going to write New Year’s Resolution this year. Every year I write New Year’s Resolution always ends up in an epic fail ending. Once it failed, I would tend to write the same thing again year after year. So, this year I’m just gonna write things I would aim to achieve by the end of this year. This is a project. This is my target. This is Resolution 2012.
The goals are set. The deals are met.
Sail the kite, Hail the spirit.
Let’s fight!
Happy New Year 2012.
With Love,
eldios©
The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2011 annual report for this blog.
Here’s an excerpt:
A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 2,700 times in 2011. If it were a cable car, it would take about 45 trips to carry that many people.
This year began with huge hopes in myself, just a typical morale boost that I always have every New Year’s Eve with a bunch list of resolution which have never been achieved and some even were forgotten along the year. Having said that, it was a hard year to begin. I was alone in my apartment counting down for the New Year to arrive. That was not as bad as previous years though.
January began badly in week 1 when I found out my housemate at that time stole my money. It was hard to swallow because I thought I could trust him. Unfortunately friendship is just a piece of bullshit nowadays. That incident really pissed me off. I would never forget that has ever happened, even more after I found he stole my cereals. The problem was because I could have given him for free the whole box if he asked me without he stole it. To steal cereals from your housemate is the cheapest thing to do ever. If he stole that money, I could still understand why but not for cereals. That is such a cheap deed. The burglar moved out the week after I found out he stole my money. He left quietly and I was lucky to stay up that night so I could know when he left. However, that was a happy moment for me because at least I would not suffer further.
January ended so hard with the exam I had in early February. There were horrible nights in Drogheda when I had to upload 14 cases in one night. I know it was my mistake for my typical last-minute deals but it was still horrible and something I would never want to do anymore, seriously.
February started with the exam day. The most scary exam in my entire 5 years medical school that time. The madness day was full with 12 non-stop OSCE stations. I did not sleep for 3 days jut because I had to score well for that exam. Thank God, it was paid-off. The stressful life became easier when it came to mid-February as the easiest rotation arrived. I planned my first trip to Italy with my best friend in March.
March was the most beautiful month this year. The wedding of my best friend, TVT, which I could unfortunately not attend followed by the birthday of the special girl should never be missed out. The month was closed by my trip to Florence, Pisa and Rome. That was the best moment of my life, thanks to my best friend, AGL, who invited me to come. I would never forget how I enjoyed Florence and Rome, especially Vatican. Unfortunately, I could not join my friend earlier to visit Milano, the city of my football club, FC Internazionale. I really hope one day I could return there and visit Inter before I leave Europe.
Back to Dublin on the last day of March and I started April in Kilkenny. Not the nicest town and not a warm team to be attached with. There was a ‘pain in the ass’ doctor who never understood the struggle of medical student being one month away from their final exam. I spent most of my days in April struggling to finish up my notes and with my typical super-power last minute-deals I stroke all subjects.
May was the toughest one. The most unfortunate month in which I was born and on the same month I always had my exams in my entire life. The exam schedule was terrible. It was monstrous for me to have 2 different subjects back-to-back in less than 12 hours in between the two. Not to mention those 2 subjects were the most difficult. Unfortunately, I had to sacrifice one of them and that ruined my last summer holiday. By the end of May I was totally exhausted with exams. I was grateful that I made it until the end.
June began with me stealing some moments for a break. A friend came over from Malaysia and I met her for the first and probably the last time ever. So, while I needed an escape from the study, I entertained her day in Bray. June 13th 2011 was the day when I flew my kite again, let it fly high. That was a moment to remember in life.
In the middle of June I had to make up the sacrifice I made. They said the exam would be easier than the first attempt, in fact, it was as hard as the first one. Luckily I had more time to prepare enough materials so I could achieve better marks. Then, came the bad news from my previous landlord that he could not accept me paying the discounted rent anymore. So, I had to find a new tenant to share the house or I have to leave. I gave up in the beginning and I almost moved out. Then someone came and convinced me to stay. Unfortunately he was just a liar. He left the house the next day he arrived after he found a better price in another place. He gave me so many reasons which were unacceptable at all. So, he left the house and I decided to let go the house because I had to appreciate the landlord decision. He was kind enough to let me stay for the last 2 years with the discounted rent. That incident almost ruined my life because it happened just 5 days before the oral exam I had to repeat. I was so depressed and under so much stressed. It even affected my friend who I asked to stay over to help me practising for exam. I was left alone with an exam to do and a fact that I would be homeless in the next few days and I had no where to put my stuffs. Luckily, one friend was kind enough to let me put my stuffs over the summer months. I was also luckily enough to find a new place to stay just the last day before I left for home. But, that day after exam, the day after I did not sleep for 2 days, I had to move my stuffs from the North-side of Dublin to the South-side by bus. That day was the worst nightmare ever. The next day when I reached my seat on the plane to Birmingham, I went straight to sleep until the plane landed in Birmingham. Then I continued my dream again from Birmingham to Dubai. That made me stayed awake for the flight from Dubai to Jakarta, but I was so exhausted. That was the first time ever I did not watch any entertainment movies in flight.
The summer was ruined because I had to sacrifice one of the subject but it was paid-off when I was officially a final-medical year student just the morning before I departed to home. I stayed home for 5 days but I did not have any chances to meet my friends. I had lots of things to settle with my family. Then I flew for an elective in Sydney. I thought it would be an escape for me unfortunately it was not an escape at all. My sister gave me lots of things to settle and so I could not enjoy Sydney as much as I would like to. But, it was fun to meet some of old friends in Sydney.
In the mid-August my sister graduated from her master degree. So, we had a family trip again in Australia. We went to Tasmania and spent a week there. Tasmania was a peaceful place where I am gonna go when my life is crowded with stressful non-sense. Tasmania is a beautiful island with various different natures. That was a great moment to get some blissful mind.
August was the beginning of most memorable months this year. August 14th 2011 was the day I remember that I felt like flying to the sky. That night I suddenly received a text-message from the special girl. It was not important at all because she was asking for my little sister but then we talked about other things. One day, two days, three days then I realised that we have never talked continuously for 3 consecutive days. Unfortunately, I had to give the sim-card to my sister, so I could not be in touch with W while we were in Tasmania.
I wanted to visit my friends in Malaysia actually in September but because my June-July holiday was already ruined, I decided to just stay in Indonesia before I came back to Dublin. That decision became the best I made this year. Since I touched down in Soekarno-Hatta Airport I was in contact with W for the entire September, until mid-October until I became too busy and she was too. Unfortunately, I am still a stupid naïve man who don’t understand how to make a girl fall in love with me. However, that one month I spent in Indonesia was the most wonderful in my life. August 18th 2011 was the greatest memory every. That was the day I fell in love again with the same girl. That was the night I would never forget. Her last smile that night would never be forgotten.
The last night in Jakarta I spent with some friends. That was a madness day to drive. We planned to meet in a mall for a fancy night but unfortunately the traffic was so unfriendly. It took me hours just to get out of the area I live. We ended up to meet in a KFC. That was pretty sad but it was such a memorable day. I met friends who I have missed for 7 years. We updated a lot of things, too much stories to share in just one night. They were my best friends in high school. We created a school magazine together. One of them just got married 3 weeks ago and I am so grateful he finally steps into another level.
October and November became typical busy months with series of unfortunate events. My mood was fluctuating very much. I went too depressed when a mentor failed me in an exam because I answered him correctly. The depression was hit by another and another like waves kept slamming on my mind. It hit the climax 2 weeks ago. I would not like to talk more about it. I’m recovering and hopefully I could do well starting tomorrow to achieve the goal of 2012 which is to be a doctor and so I can cross one more point from my bucket’s list.
2011 was the darkest year in my life ever. It started so cruel and became more cruel in the middle and even more in the end. I survived this year thanks to the steel heart I have. I can’t even remember how many give-ups I almost made in this year. The continuous struggles I have gone through would make me stronger but also I felt more exhausted each time. However, I would always stand again after each fall. I have lots of unfinished business. There are many dreams I shall achieve before my life ends. The spirit of 2011 was the ‘never give up’ spirit. That was how it started and the same way it is ended. That is the way 2012 is founded and how I must rise again to fight and stand up against the world.
However, it was undeniable that 2011 was the most beautiful age. The beauty of darkness when I could appreciate every lights shine on me. It was a beauty to smile in the darkness. It was a beauty to feel love in between sorrows.
I am thankful for everything happened in 2011. Each incidents have taught me something. Things that I never knew or realised before. There are many things I have to improve next year yet many things I have not learnt. I have caused riots in my life and I need to bring more peace and happiness. I have to create more smiles. It is hard but it is not impossible. I just have to start from myself.
Today is the last day of 2011. It is not just another year ends. It is the end of the dark age. The most important thing is I survive this dark age. I am the real deal. I am the Real Steel.
I have read or heard so many quotes in this year while I was struggling getting through the dark age. However I have picked the best I heard from someone I met.
It is not the suicidal thought that is scary. It is scary when you don’t actually have the thought but commit suicide. That is the tragedy and you lose to your life and you remain as a loser even after you die.
The End of 2011.
Auld Land Syne.
I am ready for a new beginning.
Happy New Year.
With Love,
eldios©
December 31, 2011
eldios
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Christmas night, another fight
Tears, we cried a flood
Got all kinds of poison in
Of poison in my blood
I took my feet to Oxford Street
Trying to right a wrong
Just walk away, those windows say
But I can’t believe she’s gone
When you’re still waiting for the snow to fall
Doesn’t really feel like Christmas at all
Up above, candles on air flicker
Oh, they flicker and they float
And I’m up here holding on
To all those chandeliers of hope
Like some drunken Elvis singing
I go singing out of tune
Saying how I always loved you, darling
And I always will
Oh, when you’re still waiting for the snow to fall
It doesn’t really feel like Christmas at all
Still waiting for the snow to fall
It doesn’t really feel like Christmas at all
Those Christmas lights light up the street
Down where the sea and city meet
May all your troubles soon be gone
Oh, Christmas lights, keep shining on
Those Christmas lights light up the street
Maybe they’ll bring her back to me
And then all my troubles will be gone
Oh, Christmas lights, keep shining on
Oh, Christmas lights, light up the street
Light up the fireworks in me
May all your troubles soon be gone
Those Christmas lights keep shining on
- ColdPlay © -
It has been a rough ride recently for me. Troubles and its dear friends kept shaking my world despairing my mind. As this is Christmas, I hope all my troubles will be gone. I hope I will shine bright and even brighter day after day. Oh, Christmas lights keep shining on.
Happy Christmas, World! Hope my troubles will be gone and so are yours. Peace will stand out alone and war will be over.
Merry Christmas.
With Love,
eldios©
December 25, 2011
eldios
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December 22nd in Indonesia is celebrated as Mother’s Day. I wanna persent a song for my mom.
ALWAYS LOVE YOU
I am moody
Always changing
I still don’t know who I am
But you’re right there
I know you care
When life gets hard
I can always run home
And now I realize that
Nothing I could
Ever do will make you turn away
No matter how much I mess up
You will always love me
I’m disrespectful
Sometimes I can be wild
But I’ll always be your baby
I’ll always be your child
I’m growing up now
Time goes by so quickly for you
But I’ll slow it down
I’ll be around
Because I realize that
Nothing I could
Ever do will make you turn away
No matter how much I mess up
You will always love me
And there will be a time
When I’m ready to leave
Start a family
I’ll love them like you loved me
And when it gets cold
They’ll have me to hold
And I’ll tell them
Don’t you realize that
Nothing you could
Ever do to make me turn away from you
No matter how much you mess up
I will always love you
I will always love you
- TORI KELLY © -
Dear Mom, 25 years you have loved me. You still love me like you did the first time you saw me. Things never change in your heart and I know it. And, I’m sorry for things I have not done for you, for mistakes I did intentionally or not, and for happiness I have not given you. But, everytime I talk to God, your name will never be missed. You’re always in my prayers. That is how I love you that you are always living in my heart and it will stay the same forever. I love you, Mom.
Happy Mother’s Day.
With Love,
eldios©
Today was the best day of my life
I found a road back to remind me of you
The world keeps turning over
Wish I could have you closer
Of every moment lived so far
This is my greatest memory
You by my side
And I can picture you here with me
And if I tried
This can’t be a crime
At least I can hold you in my mind
Looking out my hotel window, I see cars racing by
Everybody’s going somewhere, I wish you’d appear tonight
Someone send me an angel, I saw her in the light
Twelve days lost to dreaming, before you came to light
This is my greatest memory
You by my side
And I can picture you here with me
And if I tried
This can’t be a crime
At least I can hold you in my mind
The world keeps turning over
Wish I could have you closer
Of every moment lived so far
This is my greatest memory
Now you’re standing here with me
This is my greatest memory
You by my side
This can’t be a crime
These are the best days of my life…
- Original lyrics: HOPE © -
The Sunday of September the 18th of 2011 was the greatest memory of my life.
That smile that you had on that night at the lobby of the mall, that remains the greatest memory of my life.
You are indeed the greatest memory of my life.
May my memory lasts forever.
With Love,
eldios©
Love of my life, my soulmate
You’re my best friend
Part of me like breathing
Now half of me is left
Don’t know anything at all
Who am I to say you love me
I don’t know anything at all
And who am I to say you need me
Colour me blue I’m lost in you
Don’t know why I’m still waiting
Many moons have come and gone
Don’t know why I’m still searching
Don’t know anything at all
And who am I to say you love me
I don’t know anything at all
And who am I to say you need me
Now you’re a song I love to sing
Never thought it feels so free
Now I know what’s meant to be
And that’s okay with me
But who am I to say you love me
And who am I to say you need me
And who am I to say you love me
I don’t know anything at all
And who am I to say you love me
I don’t know anything at all
And who am I to say you need me
I don’t know anything at all
I don’t know anything at all
I don’t know anything at all
I don’t know anything at all
- HOPE © -
Never forget who your friends are.
Friends Forever.
With Love,
eldios©
Ma !
Bukan maut yang menggetarkan hatiku,
Tetapi hidup yang tidak hidup karena kehilangan daya dan kehilangan fitrahnya
Ada malam-malam aku menjalani lorong panjang tanpa tujuan kemana-mana
Hawa dingin masuk ke badanku yang hampa, padahal angin tidak ada
Bintang-bintang menjadi kunang-kunang yang lebih menekankan kehadiran kegelapan
Tidak ada pikiran,
Tidak ada perasaan,
Tidak ada suatu apa.
Hidup memang fana, Ma.
Tetapi keadaan tak berdaya, membuat diriku tidak ada
Kadang-kadang, aku merasa terbang ke belantara
Dijauhi ayah bunda
Dan ditolak para tetangga atau aku terlantar di pasar
Aku berbicara tetapi orang-orang tidak mendengar
Mereka merobek-robek buku dan mentertawakan cita-cita
Aku marah,
Aku takut,
Aku gemetar,
Namun gagal menyusun bahasa.
Hidup memang fana, Ma.
Itu gampang aku terima,
Tetapi duduk menekuk lutut sendirian di sabanah
Membuat hidupku tak ada harganya.
Kadang-kadang, aku merasa ditarik-tarik orang kesana kemari
Mulut berbusa sekedar karena tertawa
Hidup cemar karena basa-basi
Dan orang-orang mengisi waktu dengan pertengkaran edan yang tanpa persoalan
Atau percintaan tanpa asmara
Dan senggama yang tidak selesai.
Hidup memang fana, tentu saja, Ma.
Tetapi akrobat pemikiran dan kepalsuan yang dikelola mengacaukan isi perutku
Lalu mendorong aku menjerit-jerit sambil tak tahu kenapa.
Rasanya setelah mati berulang kali,
Tak ada lagi yang mengagetkan di dalam hidup ini.
Tetapi, Ma, setiap kali menyadari,
Adanya kamu di dalam hidupku ini
Aku merasa jalannya arus darah di sekujur tubuhku
Kelenjar-kelenjarku bekerja
Sukmaku menyanyi
Dunia hadir
Cicak di tembok berbunyi
Tukang kebun kedengaran berbicara kepada putranya
Hidup menjadi nyata
Fitrahku kembali.
Mengingat kamu, Ma, adalah mengingat kewajiban sehari-hari.
Kesederhanaan bahasa prosa, keindahan puisi-puisi.
Kita selalu asyik bertukar pikiran, ya, Ma?
Masing-masing pihak punya cita-cita.
Masing-masing pihak punya kewajiban yang nyata
Hai, Ma!
Apakah kamu ingat?
Aku peluk kamu diatas perahu ketika perutmu sakit?
Dan aku tenangkan kamu dengan ciuman-ciuman di lehermu.
Masya Allah!
Aku selalu kesengsem pada bau kulitmu.
Ingatkah?
Waktu itu aku berkata
Kiamat boleh tiba,
Hidupku penuh makna!
Wah, aku memang tidak rugi ketemu kamu di hidup ini
Dan apabila aku menulis sajak,
Aku juga merasa bahwa kemarin dan esok adalah hari ini.
Bencana dan keberuntungan sama saja
Langit di luar, langit di badan, bersatu dalam jiwa
Sudah ya, Ma!
Jakarta, Juli 1992
- RENDRA© -
With Love,
eldios©
Dick and Rick Hoyt
My semester break just started 2 days ago. The last semester has been a rough ride for me. It was worse than any rollercoaster rides in the world. Nightmares kept slamming on my door, hitting my mind and challenging my life. I have fallen couple of times. I have always managed to keep stand still on my feet regardless the storm and thunder happened. However, I was just an ordinary man. I am no different than anyone else. I have my limits. I never thought about giving up though probably I often mentioned about it. I often mentioned it just to remind myself that I should never give up. Giving up was never really in my dictionary. However, what happened in the last few months have really been a heavyweight fight for me. I nearly gave up.
Two days ago, I woke up because the sun shone directly into my face. I didn’t feel like to touch any academic readings yet. So, I decided to maintain my mental strength for few days before I push myself beyond the limit again. I started watching videos on youtube. I was searching for good motivational songs or some kind of those. Somehow I ended watching some good commercial advertisement video. I kept clicking on the related videos until I watched a video about the love of a father.
The video showed a story about Dick and Rick Hoyt. Dick Hoyt shows me how a real father should live his life and love his children. Dick loves Rick with all his heart regardless the physical condition of Rick. When Rick asked Dick to run with him, Dick just did it. They did local runs, marathons, and even triathlon. Dick learnt how to swim to race. Dick made a special wheel-chair for Rick to participate in the race. Dick runs by pushing Rick’s chair. Dick swims by pulling Rick’s boat. On top of everything, Dick does everything with love. Rick makes Dick stronger and vice versa. Together, they are unbeatable. Rick, on the other hand, never gives up his life. His desire to live normal has given Dick the meaning of life. Rick, despite the physical condition he has, is a college graduate. He is a champion. Together with his father, Rick has become one of the best athletes in the world. They have run marathons, triathlon, and the Iron Man challenge. The most miraculous thing is Rick does everything with only an ability to control his head. To see them together is a majestic moment of my life.
Their story really woke me up from my grave. It insulted the way my mind has behaved with the feeling to give up and to surrender to destiny. Rick Hoyt was born with paralysis and has no voice yet he survives and he proves to everyone that he is just like one of us. I felt guilty after watching the video. I cried because of the love they share between father and son. I love the spirit they share with the world. The spirit of ‘CAN’.
It hit me even harder when I heard what Rick Hoyt said with his communicating device. He touched my heart and my mind. He slapped me in the face and calling me up to raise. He saved my life.
When I first got my communicating devices, the feeling was joyous. Finally I could share my opinions with everyone. -Rick Hoyt.
I wanted to show this person that life goes on and he could still live a productive life. That’s why I turned to my dad and said we have to run in this race. -Rick Hoyt.
People generally underestimate me due to my physical condition but I’m a person with a brain and intelligence. I am no different than anyone else other than the fact I will not beat you in a foot race and you will never have to tell me to shut my mouth. -Rick Hoyt.
The second quote Rick mentioned was the one woke me up. I realised how I should not give up. Whatever the problem I have had will never be anything compared to what Dick and Rick had their entire lives. It is shameful yet I have a less productive life and I nearly gave up what has been my dream and what I wanted to do for the world. That reminds me that there are things I haven’t done and there are things haven’t finished yet. I need to sort them out or at least try to do before I talk about giving up. Even if I can’t achieve it I must not give up to give a second, third, fourth, or hundredth try. It is not about positive thinking. It is about to continue working for the sake of our goals. It is about to create something for the world. It is about not-giving-up and that word should be banned forever. That should apply not only for me, but for everyone. There is just no whatsoever reason for people to give up. There is always a way out. There is always something that we can do to overcome every thunders and storms. All we need to do and to have is this spirit of not giving up, the spirit of ‘CAN’.
There will always be storm in between sunshine and sunshine in between storm. Keep sailing, keep smiling, keep living. -eldios
A friend of mine reminded me of a quote which is quite similar to what Joker said in The Dark Knight few days ago:
Whatever doesn’t kill you simply makes you STRONGER.
I really want to wish a big huge thank to Dick and Rick Hoyt.
Dick and Rick Hoyt are the REAL Iron Men for me. The two, father and son, are my super-heroes. They are my champion. They gave me new hopes. They brightened the darkness in me. They shine the path for me. They are my inspirations. They saved my life.
P.S: I wish to meet them one day.
NON MOLLARE MAI.
Keep Living.
With Love,
eldios©
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