This Is The Day…

15 years ago.. I watched a football match out of blue. I saw this team wearing black and blue jersey. They played quite good. I didn’t know the club yet. It was just a fate that I somehow watched their game again whenever I watched football. Until one day I saw this team got cheated against another team wearing black and white stripes. The bald number 9 player was tackled off the ball by opponent player in the penalty box but no penalty was given. I was so angry and that anger made me love that black and blue team. They are nicknamed as nerazzurri. It is FC Internazionale Milano.

The match I was talking about is Juventus FC vs FC Internazionale Milano on 26 April 1998. Ronaldo was obstructed by Mark Iuliano and that made me hated Juventus so much but on the other hand I am lucky to have found this indefinite love with Inter. This love has never faded a bit, it even grew stronger and stronger each day. My life is full of Inter color. The blue sky and dark night. Io sono interista.

Since then, I have this dream to watch their football game at their home turf, Stadio Giuseppe Meazza. Being a small kid from a middle class background in Indonesia, I could only dream about it but I have always promised myself to work for this. Then I moved to Europe and I thought I could easily go but the hassle I had to do due to my nationality postponed all the plans from year to year because each time I am on school break, there was no matches played. Then suddenly there was a news that Inter was coming to Dublin but it happened while I was back home in Indonesia. Last year Inter visited Indonesia but I had my graduation in Dublin. I was so unlucky. The only thing I believe could make this happens is if I work, earn, take leave and go to Milano. That is my promise.

Last week I had a busy week helping out covering others for night duties. It made me hit the climax of stress and I needed a break. Of course, what came to my mind first is to decide when I am going to have my first ever Inter match. I decided.

It started last Friday when I had a horrible night shift because one doctor called sick and left many irresponsible workload to us for night shift. I barely had 2 hours sleep. Moreover I had to work on Saturday morning but the thing kept me going is the fact I would be on my annual leave.

I finished up my work by 1.30 pm on Saturday then I took a cab to airport. I flew a low budget airline to Torino, took a fast train to Milano. I reached Milano by 7pm. As soon as I stepped out the train, I felt excited and fell in love with the city despite the 4 degree breeze blowing. I checked in at Hotel Berna, took a shower and walked around Milano city, I saw the Duomo, I had a fantastic mouthwatering Italian seafood dinner, but that is not the most interesting part. Kudos to Hotel Berna for their great and awesome service and amazing bed. I had a great night rest I really needed.

Today I woke up at 10am. I took a hot shower and had a stomach-fulling breakfast. Again, brilliant breakfast at the hotel. Right now, I’m typing this post while I’m getting ready myself for a day visit to the city and preparing my gear for tonight. Milano have impressed me a lot last night, I believe I will just fall in love more with this city today.

So this is the day…

This is the day I have waited for 15 years. A dream I have always had as a young kid. An achievement for me as I have just started working few months back and it is a pride to fund this trip myself. Tonight I’m going to watch FC Internazionale Milano vs Parma FC at Stadio Giuseppe Meazza. Tonight I am going to see with my own eyes Nerazzurri heroes running in our colors. I hope to witness the legendary Javier Zanetti tonight. I’m so excited. I can’t even describe my feeling.

8.12.13.
Live from Milano.

FORZA INTER

INTER PER SEMPRE

With love,
eldios.

Smile.

TERSENYUM by Migi Parahita  – SMILE 

Hari ini begitu indah – Today is really beautiful

Kulangkahkan kakiku – I stride my footsteps

Dan angin pun menanya kabarmu – And the wind asked how you were

Mengapa kau tak di sampingku? – Why were you not by my side?

Dan aku tersenyum – And I smiled

Mereka tertipu - They were fooled

Kukatakan bahwa – I told that

Kau kan menyusulku - You would catch me later

 

Dan malam pun menanya kabarmu – And the night asked how you were

Yang tak ada di sampingku – Who were not by my side

Karena mereka pun merasakan – Because they felt it too

Kehilangan cahayamu – Losing your shines

Dan aku tersenyum – And I smiled

Mereka tertipu – They were fooled

Kukatakan bahwa – I told that

Kau kan menyusulku – You would catch me later

- Monty Tiwa © 2012 -

 

We have to learn we can’t have everything we want and we have to learn it from a smile.

 

The song tells how life has been since the moment I was forced to walk away. Legs were heavy and are still. Heart dripping bloods but I shall not look behind. You were the sunshine and you chose the other world. It’s all now just eclipses. I smile and continue to stride forwards…

 

..lost in dark.

With Love,

eldios©

You Are My Friend

Woke up cold today

It’s happened again

In the blink of an eye

I’ve lost a friend

All that I did wrong

Playing in my head

Only things I hear

The words I never said

How could you not know that I cared?

In the darkest of your days I met you there

When the clouds are rolling in

And the rain is pouring down

Inside I am screaming

But they never hear a sound

I know I’ve made mistakes

And I want to show you love

I can hear them whisper

Saying “she’s not good enough”

You are my friend

You are my friend

I’ve had enough of being something that I’m not

Realising that it’s over is the armour to your shots

I might forget your birthday

Won’t call you all the time

But the second you need me

I’ll race to stand by your side

I know that’s not good enough for you

Well my friendship’s based on love and not on rules

When the clouds are rolling in

And the rain is pouring down

Inside I am screaming

But they never hear a sound

I know I’ve made mistakes

And I want to show you love

I can hear them whisper

Saying “she’s not good enough”

You are my friend

You are my friend

There’s nothing I could do to make it end

There’s no hole I could tear you wouldn’t mend

You are..

You are my friend

You are my friend

You are my friend

You are my friend

You are my friend

When the clouds are rolling in

And the rain is pouring down

Inside I am screaming

But they always hear a sound

I know I’ve made mistakes

They still show you love

The only thing they whisper is

“I am good enough”

You are my friend

You are my friend

There’s nothing that I could do to make it end

There’s no hole that I could tear you couldn’t mend

You are..

You are my friend

-Roxanne Emery. 2013.©

 

I miss all my friends.. miss them so much. while I’m stranded here.. there is nothing could help better than few laughter with friends.

I miss all my friends. ALL. no exception.

 

Wish you all well.

 

With Love,

eldios©

Love Is Beautiful

Jatuh cinta itu indah
Jatuh cinta itu indah kalau kamu tidak perlu simpan perasaan kamu sendiri
Tapi kamu tahu tidak apa yang lebih dari itu?
Jatuh cinta sama orang yang mencintai kamu juga

-Fila, Kata Hati.©

Falling in love is wonderful
Falling in love is wonderful if you don’t have to keep your feelings alone
But do you know what is more?
Falling in love with someone who loves you as much

..and that’s what I had never found.. someone who puts sugar in my cup of coffee..

With Love,
eldios©

Posted from WordPress for BlackBerry.

What’s The Purpose of Waiting

Apalah Arti Menunggu by Raisa

 

Telah lama aku bertahan – It’s been long I hold on

Demi cinta wujudkan semua harapan – For love sake to realize all hopes

Namun ku rasa cukup ku menunggu – However I feel I’ve waited enough

Semua rasa telah hilang – All feelings have disappeared

Sekarang aku tersadar – I am now awakened

Cinta yang ku tunggu tak kunjung datang – The love I waited will never come

Apalah arti aku menunggu – What is the purpose I wait

Bila kamu tak cinta lagi – If you would never love

 

Namun ku rasa cukup ku menunggu – However I feel I’ve waited enough

Semua rasa telah hilang – All feelings have disappeared

Sekarang aku tersadar – I am now awakened

Cinta yang ku tunggu tak kunjung datang – The love I waited will never come

Apalah arti aku menunggu – What is the purpose I wait

Bila kamu tak cinta lagi – If you would never love

 

Dahulu kau lah segalanya – You were everything

Dahulu hanya dirimu yang ada di hatiku – You were the only one in my heart

Namun sekarang aku mengerti – But I now understand

Tak perlu ku menunggu – I should not wait

Sebuah cinta yang semu – For one apparent love

Sekarang aku tersadar – I am now awakened

Cinta yang ku tunggu tak kunjung datang – The love I waited will never come

Apalah arti aku menunggu – What is the purpose I wait

Bila kamu tak cinta lagi – If you would never love

Apalah arti aku menunggu – What is the purpose I wait

Bila kamu tak cinta lagi – If you would never love

 

translation by me according to my comprehension of the song.

 

7 years. I should just give it up. One dream has come to an end. One hope has just gone.

 

That was unfortunate. I was really deeply in love.

 

With Love,

eldios©

A Little Kindness

Five days ago, it was a total mad day for me. I woke up late in the morning and rushed to the office because there was a new staff ought to be trained by me. Arriving in my office, I found out the new staff had tried to be a smart one while she proved me as a smart ass. She ruined the system I have implemented for months. I almost exploded but tried harder to be calm.

Done with the morning training, I saw my mom’s eyes turned red and looked infected. So, I decided to bring her to see a doctor. The ophthalmologist clinic was about to end in an hour time and the clinic is about an hour driving time from my office. But, I had to try. I raced through the highway and lucky enough to arrive just 5 minutes before the clinic ended.

When we were back in the office, my mom asked me to take over her job that day which is to calculate the employee salaries. When I was doing it, my dad confused me because he called the employee one by one while I had not finished calculating and prepared the money. I ended up re-calculate numerous times to ensure the balance is right. I finished it just before I had to go to my cousin’s place because we had an appointment.

I ran down the stairs, started the car engine, drove out the garage, to the toll gate…

10 meters before I reached the gate, I realized that I forgot to withdraw some money. So, I had no cash in my wallet. Well, I had very few. By very few I meant 1 piece of 2000 Rupiah bank note which is equivalent to less than 20 cents US Dollars. LOL! The toll charge is 7000 Rupiah. But, I remained calm because in all our cars we have a e-toll card (electronic card payment for the toll). I gave the card to the man and he returned it to me, “Sorry, Sir, the amount is not enough.” Dang!!!

I opened my wallet and tried to hope, I literally tried, that I would find some money. But, THIS AIN’T FAIRY TALES! I told him that I had to go to withdraw some money first, so I had to reverse. He did not allow me to do so as he reasoned there was a long queue behind me. I asked, “So, what to do now? I just drive through?” He answered, “No. You can’t do that. You can leave something and come back to pick it up later.” I refused, “What do you want me to leave behind? My ID or Driving License? Would you pay for the penalty charge if I got checked by the police and found out I am driving without license or ID?” He started to cooperate and asked his colleague to call the security to move the cars behind me to the other gates.

But, then I looked at my side mirror, the security took something from the man inside the car behind me. The security man was holding a piece of 5000 Rupiah and 2000 Rupiah. He gave it to the man at the gate and asked me to drive through, I asked him why. He said, “The man behind paid for you.” I told him, “Said thanks to him.” I then waved to the car behind me and drove through the gate.

I was surprised that there is still someone who cared for others. Perhaps the man behind me thought it is a small matter and that money is a small thing and he should just pay it so he can pass the toll gate faster too. But to me, it was a huge kindness to help others from him. I prayed for him after I passed the gate, I wished him a happiness throughout his life. It is not whether I can’t afford to pay or what, but it’s about helping others, just like you help your friends when he asked you to do some simple thing, not because they can’t do it but just to ease them.

If we could afford this kindness just to help people around us, no matter if we know them personally or not, we could help each other and I believe we will achieve something big for us and them.

This story reminded me when I was jogging in Dublin in one afternoon. I only had 6 Euro coins in my pocket, because I only prepared it buy some drinks if I needed. Then an old lady with a walking aid called me before I crossed the road to my home. She told me, “Young man, do you have some money? I need some because my daughter is in the hospital and I don’t have any money to buy some food for my granddaughter.” She pointed to a young girl. I reached my pocket and gave her all the coins I had. I said, “This is all I have at the moment.” Tears streamed down from her eyes,”Thank you, young man.” The happiness I felt that moment was wonderful. Yes, we could presume she was just faking but I was thinking positive and I believed she was in need, so I gave her and thought positively. I have a rule for myself in doing this kindness. If I don’t believe or I think negatively before I do it, then it’s better I don’t do it at all, because it won’t be a merit.

There is another story. Three years ago, I was walking to my friend’s house to pick up books, it was raining heavily like a monsoon rain in Dublin. I saw an old lady fell down in the middle of the road and it was a green light for the cars. I was lucky there were not many cars at that time, so I could run to help her. I helped her to stand up and I saw bloods dripping from her forehead, so I helped her to cross the road to the pharmacy across the road to get an ambulance. The first car did not want to stop. Luckily there was a kind heart from the second car, an old man stopped his car and allowed us to cross. I waited until the ambulance arrived and the paramedic banded her head. The paramedic took her on the ambulance. Before she went on to the ambulance, she kissed my cheek and grabbed my hand, she whispered, “Thank you, young man. You’re a really kind man. Thank you. I’ll pray to the God for you.” I smiled, “God bless you too and take care yourself.”

Happiness does not come from travelling to countries we have dreamt for ages or winning lotteries. Happiness come from our surroundings on daily basis. Happiness can come from anything, everything, or everyone. All you need to do is to put some loving kindness in your life. If we could make a chain of kindness among us, we will attain the eternal happiness. So, don’t wait to do something kindful. Just do it.

P.S: for the man who paid for my toll fee on Tuesday 2nd April 2013 at 8pm at the Kemayoran Toll Gate, I wish you the greatest happiness in your life. Thank you for your kindness.

P.S.S: It was my sister’s car I was driving. Damn her for making me shameful with the incident but thank her that I learnt something from it too.

1. Put some kindness in your life.
2. Help others, serve others.
3. DON’T FORGET TO BRING MONEY IF YOU’RE GOING THROUGH THE TOLL GATE.

Loving in Kindness,
eldios©

Posted from WordPress for BlackBerry.

The Right Effort

Yesterday was one of the most enlightening days in my life. I had waited for years to finally attend his talk. I have read his books, listened to his preaches on youtube, looked for his quotes, etc, etc, etc. All those have directly or indirectly transformed me to who I believe a better man than 5 or 10 years ago. His teachings opened my eyes through my mind shaking my heart. His teachings guided me through difficulties I had, to survive mental tests from destiny and surroundings. I might not the perfect one yet, but I’m learning through him, his teachings and his happiness.

Yesterday he told me the best teaching about right effort to the happiness from his Master.

Everything you do, do it 100%. If you’re sweeping the floor, sweep 100%. If you’re sleeping, sleep 100%. That is the right effort - Ajahn Brahm.

When he said that, it seemed that I have known it for my entire life, but have I really done it? Don’t we still often to mix up between thoughts and feelings, making everything complicated, stressful, unhappy, sorrowful resulting in anger, hatred, and greed? That’s because we did not do it rightfully. I realized that if I did something 100%, focus and mindful, I’m sure there is no places in me for those feelings to interrupt. We would be so focused on the matter that we don’t really care about those feelings. This is the first step towards happiness.

We might not agree on what the meaning of life is, but I’m sure everyone wants to be happy.

Another thing Ajahn mentioned was

If you want to be healthy, then exercise. If you want to be happy, then laugh, smile. If you’re angry, open your heart, welcome the anger, then you’re not angry anymore.

And if we still hold on to those miserable feelings or to deny that we’re happy with life while we’re not. Then the key for happiness is only one. It is “put it down”. Put down those feelings, put down all your heavy bulky thoughts, put down your miseries.

Lastly, the best quote for me yesterday was

Whatever you can do it tomorrow, don’t do it today. Because you might die tonight.

 

I felt so happy, felt being reborn, enlightened with Ajahn’s teaching yesterday. It was simple. It was everything that we actually know beyond our head, but we never really practice it. We hear, we understand, we leave, and we forget. That’s how people, most people I should say, do. That’s why I post this, to urge people to be happy. I’m not asking anyone to be Buddhists or to believe in Ajahn Brahm, but I’m sharing to everyone that if each of us could start the right effort, then we might find what we’ve been looking for, happiness and peaceful.

I remembered a quote by one of my favorite singer and songwriter, a legend who was inspirational to me although he was shot dead in New York before I even heard about him. But one day, I read he wrote:

When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life. - John Lennon

The funny thing is I once too answered that I want to be happy when I grew up. That was long before I heard about John and this quote.

 

KINDFULNESS. It’s being kind and mindful at the same time. – Ajahn Brahm

With Love,

eldios©

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